Silence

I haven’t felt like writing since last week.

I kinda don’t feel like reading or watching or listening much either, to be honest.

I remember one time when I was little…probably 5 or 6…and my Dad raced go-karts at the track near Milford.

I was scared of the loud engines but I loved watching my Dad race.

One night something happened and his go-kart flipped on the track and Dad was ejected and everybody gasped and the adults all ran over there to where Dad was laying on the track and I ran too. He was laying on his back and trying to talk but he couldn’t and somebody said, “he’s ok, he’s had the wind knocked out of him.”

I guess that’s kind of where I’m at.

My wife Julie processes by talking. I process by not talking. Often I process by writing, but generally I find I am better off not saying anything if I have something important to process.

I’ll watch everybody run to their side and start telling me what they think, and often what I should think, but I try to stay silent and think.

If I speak too soon, I don’t have all the facts and my comments don’t age well.

That doesn’t bother some people, apparently.

Some people are paid to react quickly. Most of us just do it because.

Just because I have an opinion and a few Facebook followers, I’m not an expert on everything and since one of my goal’s in life is to bring people together, not divide them, I try to do more listening than talking.

But today I am tired of listening, and I am weary of talking.

I am praying, though.

And I’m trying to be more intentional about relationships…the ones that really matter. They are way too fleeting.

Somebody once told me to imagine the people that will be around my bed crying as I take my last breath, and to invest my time and energy on them.

Good advice.

It beats writing posts about how upset I am because you feel or think differently than me.

There is a season for everything, and I will feel like talking and reading and watching and writing again.

For now, I’m just going to try and catch my breath.