Self-Awareness.
I watched a documentary called TITAN on Netflix recently. It’s about the submersible that imploded while diving for the Titanic about two years ago.
It’s a tragic story, and a case study on a leader who was completely narcissistic and self-unaware.
The Owner/CEO of the OceanGate, Stockton Rush, didn’t listen to those around him, and ended up dying with several others aboard his invention.
Self-awareness is an interesting topic. It comes in two parts. Knowing yourself, and knowing how others perceive you.
I think I have been poor at both, but especially poor at the second part.
I’m in good company. Apparently only 10-15% of people are truly self-aware, while 95% of us think we are. That’s from organizational psychologist Dr. Tasha Eurich.
I’ve worked with, and for, some very unself-aware people, and it is painful. They don’t know what they don’t know, even as others know, and often they won’t listen to good counsel. You can probably think of one or two people like this. But what if you (and I) are one of these people and we don’t know it?
I found this little test onine:
🔍 3-Question Self-Awareness Assessment
Answer honestly — and if you're brave, ask someone who knows you well to answer about you, too.
How do I think others would describe my leadership style — in three words?
Then ask a few people to actually do it. Compare your self-perception to their answers.
When was the last time I received tough feedback, and how did I respond?
Defensive? Dismissive? Grateful? Action-oriented?
Can I clearly describe my top two strengths and top two weaknesses — and back them up with examples?
If this stumps you, you may not be as self-aware as you think.
Fortunately, our self-awareness is unlikely to kill us or others, as in the case of Stockton Rush. But it can make our lives, and the lives of those around us, miserable and unproductive.
I sometimes, not often enough, asked a couple people that I worked with about my blindspots. I asked them to answer honestly but kindly. I mean, if we’re blind to them…how else are we going to know we have them?
There are some people that I have tried approaching about their blindspots but they shut me down. They justify, blame, and otherwise disregard input. That’s the worst kind of self-unawareness. They’re certain they are self-aware…I mean, just ask them.
Self-awareness is scary. What if you find out you are the problem? Bur worse than that, what if you are the problem and you never find out?
Leadership starts with self-awareness... and a willingness to admit you don’t always know what you're doing.
Be self-aware, my friends.
(As I post this, I wonder how many people are rolling their eyes and thinking I am the most self-unaware person they know. To you, I’m sorry. I don’t know what I’m doing.)
This is gold.
Great stuff, Bill. As you know, I’ve used various assessments in my work with leaders over the past several decades and always been fascinated by varying perspectives people have about themselves. It’s a bit sad when they push back and disagree with the insights the tools reveal and defend a perspective others can see as clearly inconsistent with their behavior. Personally, I enjoy taking every assessment I can find to learn more about how I engage and perform…I wish more people did the same.
Also, I’d suggest the most valuable part of individuals and teams doing assessments is the creation of a common language around behaviors that arise, particularly in the inevitable stressful moments. Simplifying the conversation because everyone has a deeper understanding of each others gifts is a powerful path for building effective and impactful teams.