Monday Monday

—Remember that song from The Mamas & The Papas? It’s supposedly a positive song about Mondays.

“Every other day of the week is fine, yeah
But whenever Monday comes,
But whenever Monday comes
You can find me cryin' all of the time.”

Fleetwood Mac had a song called Monday Morning but it only mentioned Monday one time. “Monday morning you sure look fine.”

And Jimmy Buffett had a song called Come Monday.

“Come Monday, it'll be alright
Come Monday, I'll be holdin' you tight
I spent four lonely days in a brown L.A haze
And I just want you back by my side.”

He was only happy because he was wearing hush puppies and about to see his honey.

Monday’s get a bad rap, coming right after Saturday and Sunday. Tough act to follow and all.

Have you ever noticed that there seems to be twice as many Monday mornings as there are Friday afternoons?

I always tried to look at Mondays as a clean slate. A fresh start. It didn’t always help but it did sometimes.

—The car in front of me at the traffic light just sat there after the light turned green. What’s the protocol for this? I mean, how many seconds do you wait before you honk your horn?

I wait longer than most.

I wish my horn had options. Like, “Toot…friendly notice that the light has turned green, and you can go now but I’m not a jerk”

Instead, I just have a one tone car horn that immediately escalates every situation.

Once I was at a bank drive-through ATM and there was one car in front of me. As the nice lady went about her banking, with arms that were obviously too short for the ATM, I decided to get my wallet out of my back pocket so I’d be ready when it was my turn.

The wallet was nestled pretty deep in my back pocket, so I had to kind of stretch my legs out and lean to the side and as I did my left hand laid on my horn. It was so loud, echoing off the brick wall of the bank. It actually scared me.

I was embarrassed. The lady in front of me gave me the finger.

That was when I wished I also had some kind of communication device that allowed me to communicate car to car. Maybe like a scrolling LED signboard on top of my roof. I could have apologized and explained myself.

The other night I met a car that didn’t have its headlights turned on. I blinked my lights at them but they didn’t know why I was blinking at them. I could have turned on my signboard and told him his lights were off.

—Speaking of cars, I have never put my gloves in my glovebox.

Isn’t time we called it the Extra Napkins Box? Or, The Expired Insurance Cards Box?

They changed the name of the cigarette lighter to the 12v Power Outlet…surely they can update the name of the glove box.

—OK enough nonsense. Time to get on with our Monday. If you’re struggling with the weight of the world, just remember this: You have successfully survived the worst day of your life. And you can handle whatever comes your way today.

Psalm 118:24: "This is the day that the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it."