Introverts.

Sometime in the past decade, churches decided it was a good idea to make people feel welcome when they arrive. I mean like, REALLY welcome.

For most of my life I arrived at church and was greeted by maybe one person who was often standing at the door to the sanctuary handing out bulletins. He’d nod, I’d take the bulletin and nod back. Unspoken message: Welcome to church. Here’s what we’re doing today. Go find a seat.

Nowadays, at least at the church we attend, there’s a whole team of people who show up every Sunday morning with the express purpose of making you feel like a soldier returning from an extended deployment overseas.

My campus pastor reads this Substack sometimes and he’s probably rolling his eyes right now and wondering where I’m going with this.

Actually he knows. I half-jokingly once asked our lead pastor if maybe we could get an introverts entrance. A quieter parking lot. Nobody holding up a sign saying Welcome Home. No greeters at the door shaking hands. Just a quick path to my seat.

I once counted the number of times I was officially greeted between my car and my seat, and I think it was 14.

Maybe you have heard the analogy of coins as it relates to introverts and extroverts? I heard Simon Sinek explain it beautifully:

"It is about energy; An introvert loses energy in social interaction, an extrovert gains energy from social interaction. An introvert wakes up in the morning with 5 coins, [for] every social interaction they spend a coin and at the end they are depleted. An extrovert wakes up with no coins, every social interaction they get a coin, by the end they feel rich."

I love my church, and I seriously wouldn’t want them to change a thing. The people outside with the signs and the coffee and the door holders…they are fantastic, and they do make me smile and feel welcome. But I will admit it is out of my comfort zone to make eye contact and say hi to everyone. Sometimes I worry that comes across as aloof or conceited so I try to smile back and acknowledge everyone.

Our church is opening a new campus closer to where we live, and we’ve volunteered to serve. I told my pastor that I’d like to start an introverts small group. We’d schedule stuff and than cancel it at the last minute, freeing up precious alone time and giving that rush of knowing we got a reprieve from leaving the house and having to interact with people. We’d have the satisfaction of being part of a community without small talk.

Somebody once told me that I am probably an ambivert - someone who can adapt their behavior to any situation. They can turn on the extrovert side when needed, and be introverted when appropriate. That might be true.

Most of my professional career required me to come out of my shell and be outgoing and conversational in public. And it was never fake. But it I will admit it was draining sometimes, and I would be exhausted after big events.

Oddly, I have found that most people in radio - at least those on the air - are introverts. It seems odd since we live our lives in public, in a fishbowl, talking to thousands of people. But it’s not that hard when you don’t see them all. Plus, radio is actually best when the announcer is talking to one person, not a thousand.

I admire extroverts. I always wonder how they come up with so much stuff to talk about with people they don’t really know that well.

I don’t have any trouble talking about stuff with my close friends, or even one on one with somebody new over coffee or lunch. I actually love that. But ask me to stop and talk to somebody in a lobby on my way in or out of something, and I am seriously floundering. I fidget with my car keys and eye the exit. Often I will tell Julie I’ll meet her outside and I leave her to visit with people while I keep my head down and beat feet.

I actually don’t like that about me, but I have come to terms with it. It’s me, it’s not you.

I just run out of coins pretty quickly in public.